And so life moves on...

It's been a roller coaster of activities and emotions here. With weekly trips to Lancaster to help care for an elderly aunt, life takes on a new perspective - the reality of dying. I could write an entire blog post on the lessons I've learned in the last few weeks. And then there is the driving - how do you make 6 hrs in the car profitable over and over again? Note to self - It is not the stops at the outlet mall! Some of the time is redeemed just in giving comfort to my aunt. She said through tears - this is such a waste of time for you, to which I replied - does it bring you comfort? why of course she responded, then, I said, my time has been well spent.

My father and my aunt as children

Then there is the challenge of losing weight and how to make lifestyle changes when your world is not in control. The sad thing is I have done this SO MANY times and yet it is all new every time. What I want to do and what I do are always two different things. And time is so elusive. It really is best to take one day at a time - but so hard to do it.
And then we have the move. After weeks of looking at places from the road we decided it was time to go out with a realtor and look at the two we had narrowed the field down to up close. Then the reality of packing up 14 years of life (the longest we've lived anywhere) and making a new home hit me and I grieved for several days like I did not expect to have happen - the anger, the fear, grieving the death of a dream takes it toll just like the death of a loved one. You may think I am being melodramatic and I was definitely being selfish but I had a different plan in mind than the one we are following. A different plan for life, a different plan for work, a different plan for just about everything and now it is all going to be packed up in boxes and starting over in a strange place where the plan is not yet defined or even recognizable. I am so thankful to have a constant reliable God who sees me through the challenges of life.
John and I had the chance to spend a few days away this weekend. We needed to escape and he had a groupon from Christmas with an overnight at a very nice place in DE. I had also found leftover gift cards that were close to expiring (almost $200) - he drives me nuts leaving things lay around and then of course the loose change that we banked earlier in the month so we had a very luxurious but thrifty overnight. We stopped in the Inner Harbor in Baltimore - it was a lovely day and had a delicious crab lunch at Phillips Seafood - and it was Restaurant week in Bmore so we got a great deal at a very popular restaurant. It was good to talk out things and have a good cry (me) and then talk out things some more - all away from home and work. He convinced me that in spite of the changes we are facing - and the work it will entail - I still have time for me. So he put a new dream in me and I think I can move on in a more positive spirit than I had a few days ago.
So not the cheeriest blog post ever but just laying out what is on my heart and mind. I've been cleaning out and organizing my craft work room in anticipation of packing it up and I came across a bag of treasures from the beach a few years ago. Shells and seaweed and driftwood - all pieces I had a project in mind for so I traveled memory lane and enjoyed touching and feeling a peace of the sea. And all that cleaning and organizing means I can see my floor AND I can find the things I want to work on! So perhaps I'll have something interesting to share next time

A New Normal

I had a feeling this year was gonna be good. It just seemed like there was change in the air. Perhaps because I've lived in a perpetual state of change for the past two years getting ready to marry off my younguns' but I really didn't know what could possibly top those events. For those of you waiting for some big announcement - it ain't happening. This year may just be another year of family and fun but it feels different. One of my goals for the year was to get my house in order - and by house I mean physical dwelling where we live and love but also house as in ME - make a plan, plan a life, live intentionally, decide what you want to do with your next half century and get moving! Many of you know I turn 50 this year - no biggie, but yet a fun milestone to celebrate. Many of you know I am in a search for my birth parents - no news yet but steady information flowing. Many of you know that I gave myself a 100 day challenge - more on that later. But it's already shaping up to be a not quite what I expected new year.
First of all, my schedule will change a bit - for a little while at least. My brother has asked me to help care for my elderly aunt. She is currently in skilled nursing care but as she has no family but the few of us, it is time to rally support. So I will be going back and forth to Lancaster each week to spend a few days sitting with her, advocating for her and just being with her. My brother has all the hard stuff under control so I get to do the easy stuff - be me. We'll see how the next two weeks go and then make a plan from there. But being gone from home will certainly motivate me to use the time I am home wisely because  the next change that looks like it will take place this year is a move. How on earth does one box up 13 years of living in one place and move it all to another place and still call it home? I do ache with my kids who feel like the rug is pulled from under them (under they aren't even at home anymore.). They haven't physically said it because they want to be supportive but I know that they feel that way because I do! But business has been challenging over the last few years and we've lost our lease and have two years to physically move the business elsewhere. We've come to the conclusion that the best thing to do is to combine everything under one roof - well not literally but on one property so we are looking for a farm where we have everything we planned for at our farm in Appomattox, everything our family could want for a HOME SWEET HOME and everything a business would need for office space, crane storage, machine shed, etc.
It has been fun to explore some of these farms. Others make me want to cry and say no way! I selfishly want to keep my house - all the improvements - the new custom kitchen, the gorgeous bathrooms, the rooms painted how I want them - I have seen some UGLY wallpaper and carpet and paint! but then I see the layout of a particular place and I think "oh a holly tree, a perfect spot for a lavender garden, a field for veggies - hey I could raise a goat!" and start to get all excited about the possibilities. We'll have to wait and see what the Lord has planned! But in the meantime should I order seeds and prepare my garden?
THE 100 Day Challenge - losing 25 lbs before I turn 50!
So far so good - week 1 is 5 lbs gone! I love the success of the first week and know that it won't stay this way but I am taking it one day at a time. Learning to track, learning to plan, relearning portion size, looking for healthy alternatives (right now I am in love with greek yogurt) and trying to eat a piece of fruit before anything else sweet. It helps to have purged the house of Christmas cookies - still have some bags of chips that should probably get tossed. Still looking for partners and good ideas and any encouragement anyone wants to add. Thanks for the support.

 

163 days til summer

or so I am told

Collections

 Christmas decorating always brings out the collections and with it much nostalgia. I didn't do a lot of decorating this year but I did bring out "The Snow Village" and a few nativities. I have been collecting pieces to The Snow Village since our first wedding anniversary. One advantage to getting married on the 30th of December is the fact that most of these pieces were bought on sale after Christmas as anniversary gifts. The first pieces we purchased were the ice skaters, the basketball players and the big white farm house. The big white farmhouse reminds us of our wish to live out in the country and of course in the 80's basketball was John's life - aside from me, which goes without saying. The ice skating piece was also wedding related and reminded us of going "skating" in DC with lots of friends and family a few nights before our wedding. We also loved all the red heads in this collections - hmm wonder why? and since there are tons of kids they all got names from John's siblings. Later years saw the addition of the barn, the anniversary piece, the red truck and several other pieces. The latest addition was the soldier coming home in time for Christmas and was in Michael's honor when he made it home on Christmas Eve.

 The ice skaters usually include Sarajane and Sabrina 

and Nathaniel who has fallen down

 

 John and Ensign playing basketball

Andrew and Luke sledding on saucers,

just like we used to fly down hills.

 

 Happy Anniversary - December 20, 1983

someday a barn...

Welcome Home Mikey - 2008

Another collection I have been working on over the years is the Nativities - of course to emphasize the true meaning of Christmas. At first my goal was to find unusual ones and I have found many of those - like the red clay one from Sedona, and the wrought iron one from Lancaster, the carved wood from the Philippines and of course the homemade ones we made with the kids. This year I only set out two of my sets - my most recent acquisitions which don't really fit the "unusual" definition but they are easily two of my favorites, mostly due to size and probably due to the fact that the Willow Tree set was a gift from my kids over the course of a few years.

 

Santos set

 

 the home made set made from wooden blocks and felt. Our set has three shepherds, multiple sheep, three wise men etc. One year we made these with the kids from church - over 20 sets - that's a lot of felt to cut. We've also made them with my nieces and nephews and of course I am looking forward to making a set with my grandchildren some day.

I also have a snowman collection. These are all about 10 - 12 inches high and collection one a year for about 8 years.When the artist quit making them, I quit collecting them. Perhaps they'll be out on my shelves next year. Or maybe it will be a Chrismons year, or a vintage Christmas books year or ..... we'll just have to wait and see.

And don't even start me on ornaments. At one of my bridal showers everyone was asked to bring a Christmas ornament. Many of those are hand crafted and somewhere is the list of who gave what. But this year we had a red, white and blue tree to honor our daughter-in-law Laura who is serving on deployment somewhere out there. Each year that Mike was gone we also did the red white and blue theme so it seemed fitting to use them once again. Anything red, white or blue makes the tree along with a plethora of snowflakes and some gold ornaments from places we've visited in the grand ole USA. This year a family of cardinals graced the top of our tree thanks to Kayla. Time to visit some after Christmas sales and see what's left

Off to pack up my collections - Happy New Years!